Please if you have any advice....
I am exhausted. Worn out. Fried from watching kids all day. The last thing I want is my husband touching me in the evening. When we get to bed, I like to be left alone; untouched so I can sleep freely; knowing the next day the kids are going to be all over me again.
Any advice to get over this? I know my husband is hurting b/c of the need to take a break every night.
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Jessica Rabbits Advice
I understand when your life is so busy, relaxing enough to sleep can be challenging. Let alone relaxing yourself enough to get in the mood for your husband. Also, men can get turned on in an instant while we need time to get there. But, in all reality your husband is right. I always say “it doesn’t hurt to lift your skirt.” You just have to tell yourself that since you guys are so tired it probably won’t take that long. Once you start doing it, even if you initially didn’t want to; it always usually starts to feel good. Think about it like working out. The hardest part is getting dressed and going to the gym, but once your there it’s easy.
The bottom line is you work so hard for your family. The last thing you want is the added stress of marital problems. Sex is the glue that holds a relationship together. Your husband loves you, and wanted to marry you because he only wants to sleep with you.
Your children are happy if the two of you are happy. Children are very smart and can sense if there is tension between you guys. Your kids feel the most secure when the two of you are secure.
Whenever you can tell he is about to initiate sex, ignore that voice in your head that says, “Please don’t I’m so tired, not tonight.” I’m going to give you a challenge: every time he initiates make yourself do it for one month. You will feel less stressed, happier, more confident and most importantly more connected with your husband.
Also, don’t be worried that you’re just not interested in sex anymore. Like I said before women need time for their engine to get revved up, and stress doesn’t help at all with that!
One thing you can do to remind your brain that you are still sexual is to take care of yourself. Do this at least once a week when you’re taking a bath or have some time alone. Taking care of yourself sexually helps because it sends a message to your brain saying, “I forgot this feels so great, why don’t I do this more?” If you have a little time, picking up a little erotica book for yourself to read that couldn’t hurt either. I hope this helps and remember always tell yourself “it doesn’t hurt to lift your skirt.” Let me know how it goes.
p.s you sound like a great mom.
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Some food for thought. I will follow up with you on this; thank you for the advice!